RuPaul Who?

I'm sure you wouldn't be shocked to learn Macy Walker is quite the showman ... or is it show-woman, I don't know? Either way, she ain't afraid of puttin' on the ritz! In October, I took Macy to a fashion show. I'm not talkin' bout some stand up in a store & model show, I'm talkin' bout a full fledged catwalk with perfect runway beats to snap those quick-steppin' legs to. Big tousled up hair & crazy make-up--THAT kind of fashion show! Since Macy's the kind of girl who'll wear her fanciest dress with cowboy boots to the pond, dig up dirt, chase boys and give 'em a good wallop with her pea-sized fist and then ask if she looks pretty while I'm picking the grass from her hair because she's rolled down the hill ... I wasn't sure how this supermodel, runway fashion show would fair with her.

I've learned in the months following the fashion show she wasn't really all that impressed with the styles, what that girl was impressed with was the strut! Every since October, we've been forced to blast Lady Gaga-like songs so she can sashay around the house in quick-step, pronounced knee bend model form. Oh yes, there's a pause, hip pop, pivot, turn at the "end" of the runway ... believe that!

She's gotten SO talented at producing her one woman shows, she's incorporated us into her activities. We oblige. I mean hey, why not? Right? She's even gone as far as having fashion shows during family gatherings. Our latest show took place on Thanksgiving. My brother-in-law who's a high school wrestling coach along with one of his former wrestlers whom now wrestles at OU participated in the "Fall 2009 Macy's Day Fashion Show" and lemme tell you folks .... RuPaul ain't got nothin' on these boys! ;)

Enjoy!

I Can Hardly Believe It

If you're a parent, you know exactly what I'm saying here ... where the heck does time go?!? See that pic right there to the left? That's Macy Renee when she was 5 months old now she's five months shy from seven years old.

She sure was cuter than the dickens here ... Well, ha ... not that anything's changed if I must say so myself but ya' know ;) What I wanna' know is why on God's green earth did I refuse to cut that sweet baby's hair? Poor kid had a combover at 5 months old!

No Shanks Allowed!

Macy Walker lost her 5th tooth last night, yes count them ... Five! (Yes, that's Macy's writing, done without prompting--"THIS IS MY 5th TOOTH".) There was one slight problem though, the tooth fairy FORGOT --Gasp! How dare she?!?--Macy was quick to visit my bedside at the crack of dawn, whispering in her delightful voice while holding up what the tooth fairy should've retrieved and rolling her eyes, "the tooth fairy must've forgotten!" and then letting out a sigh of disappointment followed with another whispered "but it's your birthday so I'm gonna let you go back to sleep." Awwwwe how sweet and to think that hussy of a lady, "the tooth fairy" forgot her!

Well, rest assured I was quickly reminded ohhh, four times throughout the day about the forgetful fairy. By the end of the day, I was certain she'd go to sleep with a homemade shank just waiting for that rotten absent minded old bat, the "the tooth fairy" but you can see, nothing but sweetness awaited her. ;)

Arrrgggh .. Mateys!

Macy recently began playing basketball. In preparation for her first practice, we discussed the importance of following through with commitments, having a positive attitude and being part of a team. Most of the conversation was between she & Casey but I was there chiming in my two cents from time to time … surprise, right? Casey then asked her if she would mind our attendance at her practice or if she preferred we not watch. She rolled her eyes, let out a huffing sigh and said, “Well if you guys come, all you’re gonna’ do is make fun of me!” Casey & I both laughed and I said, “Make fun of you?? We don’t make fun of you!” Macy responded with a smile, “Yes you do! You tease me all the time.” Again, we laughed and I chimed in with, “Let me tell you somethin’ right now baby girl … we only make fun of you because we love you. If you’re in this family & we don’t make fun of you then we don’t like you. That’s just how we roll!”

Fast forward to today when Casey had a procedure for his eyes. Now I’m sure you can imagine nearly any “procedure” you’d have for your eyes would leave you wearing those hideous Stevie Wonder type glasses and Dr. Walker was no exception. Aside from his lovely glasses, I’ve been taunting him by covering one eye and scurraging like a pirate. Arrrrgh!

After the procedure, he & Macy were dining at a local pizza joint. As Macy was coloring in a picture of a figurine with glasses, she colored the ENTIRE area of the glasses with the darkest crayon the restaurant offered and then announced to Casey “There, that’s you!” followed by boisterous laughter.

Shortly after, they so kindly brought pizza and a drink to my office. Macy could hardly wait to tell me what she’d done. She relayed the above story & quickly said, “If we don’t make fun of ya’, we don’t love ya’, right?” and then she died laughing.

Perfection, It's a Female Dog

Have I ever mentioned Macy's like me? Yeah well incase you forgot, SHE IS ... only magnified times a hundred! I'm embarassed to say I'm by nature a perfectionist. While I've reluctantly learned to modify my tendencies to be Bree Van de Camp apparently they've managed to spill over into my offspring. Surprise, right? Ha.

Little Miss Priss couldn't staaaaand to be wrong so she pulled a lil switch-er-roo with words, check it out:

A: "What was the best part of your day at school today?"

M: "When I had to come inside."

A: "Come inside?? Like from recess?? That can't be fun!! Did you have to miss some of your

recess?" (said with a what'chu-talkin'-bout-willis type scowl)

M: "Yeah, but just 5 minutes because I didn't finish my journal work." (like this made it better?)

A: "Ohhhh, what'dya write about?"

M: "Playin' outside at the park. Well, not today. I meant yesterday."

A: (I gave a puzzled look because I'm tellin' ya folks ... this child did NOT go to the park. Not

today, not yesterday and not the day before. There was no park visit! haha)

M: "Well, I played in the backyard. I just didn't know how to spell backyard so I said park." (and

smiled like it was just fine).

Backyard ... park ... backyard ... park ... same thing, right? I swear, if this girl doesn't work in sales, marketing or PR I don't know what she'll do.

Come & Listen to a Story 'Bout a Girl Named Mace

This poor little written documentary of my wild one has just gone to pie crust! I swear I haven't written in (pause while I go back to see what the last posting date was) precisely 19 whole dog-gone days! Now ain't that a cryin' shame?!?

Casey is absolutely the best Daddy in the whole wide world. He's purdy darn cute if I don't say so myself ... wink, wink ;) He doted on this very bossy lady he had on his hands named Macy ... ah, you thought I was talkin' bout myself, didn't ya? Yeah, go ahead and say it I know ... poor lil' ol' Casey he's got TWO bossy hiefers in his house!

I was out of town last weekend, not only did Dad play Easy Bake oven with the pretty princess, he took her to the Science Museum where Miss Hillbilly De-luxe showed up. Apparently there was a tractor of some sort on display at the Science Museum of Oklahoma (F.K.A. Omniplex) where Ellie Mae ... er, um I mean Macy decided she'd climb aboard & give a whirl at her best "Okie" drawal. She re-enacted this for me tonight in the car but imagine a cute, otherwise articulate little girl peering her head o'er the top of the tractor tire from the seat yelling out in her best Southern Belle/Country/Okie or what I just flat out call hillbilly voice, "I'ma goin' ta' faeed muh cowees." and pretending to putter off on her tractor. Oh gawd, I'm embarassed. Is that MY kid up there? Shoot, all that was missin' was some overalls & a couple teeth. Oh hahaha wait ... She IS missing some teeth!

'X' Marks the Spot

Most nights I beat Casey home from work by about 30 minutes; tonight however, HE was here first. When I got home, I found this"sketch" lying on the desk. I couldn't get a perfect shot of it but I was quickly informed by Macy that she'd just completed a treasure hunt. Ohhhh, it made perfect sense! This was her treasure map that Casey drew. Duh, how could I have not known?!? Dad got a chuckle out of it and was sure to make it known to me that he made the treasure a package of fruit snacks because he didn't want her to think she could pull a fast one on him by "asking" to play treasure hunt every time she wanted some dinero or candy. Nonetheless, I thought Dad had a great creative venture with our little princess. Oh yeah, AND he'd already helped her do her homework! Score!! (for me)

Our night soon took shape as most other work/school nights do ... dinner, bath, teeth, books, bed. I asked Macy to select a couple books, which she obliged. I instructed her to begin reading and advised I'd be with her momentarily only to find this when I entered her room ... the kid reading "Chicken Butt" sporting a faaaab-you-lous disguise!

I Double Dog Dare You!

Often times when I'm supervising Macy's bath, I get all the great stories everyone else in our family misses out on. I mean some have the idea that hurrying through the bath is a great idea but I kinda' like the time because all I do is talk with my daughter & get a chance to CR-ACK up!

Macy Walker's had a lil bit of a cold the last few days, you know the typical runny nose and such. She covered her nose as she sneezed only to come out with a handful of clear snot .. I know, gross! I told her to stick her hand in the water to get it off. What do you think happened next? She stuck her hand up to my face & said, "Ya' wanna' bite of this?" and then she laughed hysterically! Really? Did she REALLY just ask me if I wanted to taste her snot?!? All I could do was say that's disgusting while the laughter rolled out of me.

She quickly said, "Nah, I'm just kidding" and slowly put her hand down toward the water. I of course still laughing began antagonizing/teasing her saying "No, c'mon .. YOU eat it." She repeated the previous behavior followed by words of just kiddin' and then suddenly .... she stuck that little postage stamp tongue out & licked a teeny tiny bit of the snot only to hear me go "MACY WALKER!! THAT IS DISGUSTING!" and then die laughing. She roared with laughter & goes, "Welp, you dared me!"

Ahhh, this kid is a trip. She's JUST like me. I don't eat snot but I've done a lot of things in my life on a mere dare.

Dear Jesus, please help me!

Dad Rocks Poem

Macy has recently been in the habit of writing. She has a spiral notebook that she doodles in, tries to form sentences in, draws pictures in, practices her handwriting in, really, whatever she feels like doing in it.

Last night, she sat up at our bar area near the kitchen & began writing. She was very much in concentration mode & I wish I could've snapped a shot but I didn't know at the time what she was writing. Turns out folk, she wrote a poem about her her Mom & Dad .... aaaaaawwwwe.

And it goes a little somethin' like this:

DAD ROKzS POEM

Macy Loves HeR mom and dad

I Like to play weth theam

mom and dad Love Macy

Cuz thay Be Nice To Me.

Beecuz thay Love me.

The Agony of Defeat

Sometimes, scratch that. Often, in the Walker Household we play. We play board games, we play tag, we play catch, we play school ... you get the picture. Tonight folks, we played Simon Says. Casey was Simon while Macy & I followed Simon's directions carefully. Our favorite command he barked was "Simon says dance!" That's us "dancing" over there to the left.

But there's one little nugget about Macy Walker I haven't shared yet ... she's c-o-m-p-e-t-i-t-i-v-e to the Nth degree. She didn't listen as closely to Simon as I did and took one too many laps round the couch. You can see here ladies & gents, this is the fall out of her defeat!

Say Wha?!?

By the time Friday nights roll around both of the parental units in our household are zapped. What that usually means is we go somewhere to eat, come home, chill for a minute and crash. Most restaurants are packed on Friday nights which forces the party planner (A.K.A. Alicia Renee Walker) to bring an "activity" for the lil'un to do while we wait ... and wait .... and wait. Tonight's activity de'jour was a spiral notebook, two coloring books, crayons, markers and three books.

Fortunately, we only had to wait about 20 minutes until our little buzzer went off indicating our table was ready. Just when we waded through the sea of patrons to get to the hostess stand they say Ohhh, we're sorry ... we forgot you said you'd like to sit near the bar area so you can see the TV. Fine by the Walkers' cause we brought plenty o' goods to keep the girl entertained. Shortly thereafter, the real deal Holyfield table was ready & boy was that talkative child o' mine thirsty. Hmph, wonder why?? Maybe it's cause she never shuts her friggin' mouth! Macy Renee ordered up a BIG glass of sweet tea .. no little cups for her, no sir'ree Bob.

Macy decided she'd like to watch the football game that was on at the adjacent TV. She said she was going for the 'black team', which was Louisville. I mean c'mon, every girl knows its about the fashion here, their uniforms were black so they MUST be called the 'black team'.

This football watchin', fast talkin' little cutie pie of mine must've had half that BIG glass of sweet tea consumed when lo & behold it's bottoms up for her! She's down to the laaaast little drop of tea, cup tipped up and then slammed back down like any good beer drinkin' son of a gun, when I hear "Oh ssssss ...." I'm passively listening you see, trying to guage whether or not this precious, innocent angel will say you know--"the" S word. Much to my surprise it turned into "Oh sssssNAP!!", "I just spilled this all over my shirt!"

Whew, saved with the n-a-p. ;)

Reading Rainbow

It's not news Macy is in 1st grade now and I'm sure it's no surprise first graders are learning to read. Macy truly enjoys books, she always has but ya' see this first grade reading log thing has enhanced her spirit of competition. Yikes! Apparently she feels like another friend in her class will fill up her reading log before Macy will fill hers up. For the last week now, we've read an average of 3 books a night. That's a LOT! The end result is the reading log is full :)

What I love even more is watching my two babies share something so special together. He makes her laugh, she makes him laugh and I just smile. These two kids are the most!

The Lunch Lady

Macy is to the age where I don't particularly have to bathe her. She's quite capable of completing the task on her own but I often supervise to make sure all the soap is out of her hair, she actually used soap to wash her body & of course that the bathroom floor doesn't become a lake. Tonight I went to take dinner out of the oven only to return to the sight in the picture to the left. She said, "Look Mom, this is what the lunch ladies wear." I couldn't help but crack up laughing because let's face it, every lunch lady I've seen in all my 30 years has inevitably worn this gorgeous hair net!

With all her humor, that lil rascal sure does have a way to set this Momma's temper on fire. Typically it's just about the time she stages her own personal coupe, combined with tears, screams of defiance and then the lashing of the belt. Okay, okay the last part was just for effect but I do get the pouting, tears & defiance. This is what I see. Oh, and lemme' be the first to say you bet'cha I'm gonna' keep this pic around & show every cute boy she brings to our home!

Shut Your Big Yap

Look at this precious little darling on her first day of 1st grade. Such a gem! I think we as parents are always fearful of how our children behave & perform at school. We hope they're listening to everything the teacher says, obeying all the rules and rockin' the socks off the teacher academically .. well, those are MY thoughts anyway ;)

Progress report time rolled around & I'm pleased to say Mrs. Lewis has announced Macy Walker is doin' A-OK, "She's doing fine!" were her words actually. So great news, eh? The kid's got the academic part down so far .. WHEW, what a relief.

One little snag here though ... her MOUTH. This beautiful little girl sho' does have her work cut out for her in the chatting department. I mean c'mon now guys .. do you know us? Do you know how much Casey & I talk?? Yeah, well it shouldn't have come as any sort of surprise when the she's-doing-fine comment was met with "Macy is very friendly with everyone!" Yeah lady, I know what that means ... Macy Walker won't shut her freakin' mouth!

I love her motor mouth.

When You Wish Upon a Star

Macy: "Have you guys ever seen a shooting star?"
Casey: "Yep, I see them all the time."
Macy: "What IS a shooting star?"
Casey: (Goes into a developmentally appropriate scientific explanation)
Macy: "Ohhhh."
Alicia: "Your Daddy's right!"
Macy: "Yeah. He is?"
Alicia: "Yep, your Dad is a Doctorate of Space Science, that means he knows aaaaallll about
the stuff in space & the weather and all that."

Macy: "Are you a doctor of anything?"
Alicia: "Nope. I'm just educated at talking alot."

Casey & Alicia: (laughter)

Casey: "Yeah, your Mom's got a Doctorate in Bossology and her dissertation was in Get Your
Butt Over Here!"

I love them!